July 2nd, 2008 by admin
©Lisa Barker
I’m waiting for one of the kids to ask me what reptile dysfunction is. There’s no escaping the ads on television. I imagine how the talk will go so that I’m prepared:
“What er-reptile dysfunction, Momma?” Read the rest of this entry »
June 6th, 2008 by admin
©Lisa Barker
My youngest has been playing school with his older siblings and now he feels ready to start kindergarten.
“Whoa! You need to be five first.”
“But I’m ten.”
“Not quite.”
He recites his ABCs and counts to 100. He spells his first name and sometimes his last name. He likes rhyming and opposites. When I cook dinner and he plays school with me, I better do it right. Read the rest of this entry »
May 4th, 2008 by admin
The Great And Naked Houdini & His Assistant
© Lisa Barker
I followed the trail of clothing down the hall. Somehow, my one-year old son had freed himself from these repressive articles.
There were the pink jammy bottoms (hey, he’s MY son and he’s secure in his masculinity so he can endure this hand-me-down), then the t-shirt…and the diaper?
Nope. Hadn’t gotten to that yet. Read the rest of this entry »
March 31st, 2008 by admin
Not The Birds And Bees!
©Lisa Barker
My son was fidgeting and pulling at the fly of his pants. He’s four-years old and, although he’s potty trained, I don’t want to take any chances.
“Do you have to go to the bathroom?”
“No, I’m just playing with my pieces.”
“That’s not your ‘pieces’ that’s your (insert proper name of body part that may not be suitable for a family newspaper).” Read the rest of this entry »
March 7th, 2008 by admin
Jelly Mom™:The Bad Hair Day
©Lisa Barker
I haven’t had a bad hair day in a long time, but one hit me this week five minutes before I was to walk out the door for Mass.
My husband poked his head in our room. “Aren’t you going to church?”
“No! I feel like a HORSE!” Fwing! There went another skirt flying across the room.
He’s a good man. He may have doubled over laughing when I finally left the house, but until then he kept a most seriously straight face.
